You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize