Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
