My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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