I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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