So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
