After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
