yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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