think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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