Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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