You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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