i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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