and you said cock pushups were impossible
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
