Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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