Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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