how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i think i have two assholes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
