Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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