From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he fucked my hip out of place.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
