Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
