but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
