the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize