After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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