actually, I'm a sock model
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
