yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize