I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
