you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
