batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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