It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I want to be your penis for a week.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
