the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
