Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
