my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i've created a new STD.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
