just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Randomize
