Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
