Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
