i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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