haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
