At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize