omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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