Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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