if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
