What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
