Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize