Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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