I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
