and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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