Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
