I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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