Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
