In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
