he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
