I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
