i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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