hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
