Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
