oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
