i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
