I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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