i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
