Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she pinky promised me she was 18
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
