Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I want her autograph on my taint
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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