I'm pants shitting drunk right now
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
