Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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