Your face is a jimmy john
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
