Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize