I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
organizing the empties. That sober.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
