I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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