First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
