Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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