i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
