Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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