In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her vagine was all disorganized.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize