I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
