Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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