Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
