im having a threesome with these popsicles
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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