They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Your penis caused this!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
