trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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