yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize